Guerilla Love
Posted on Jul 17th, 2008
by 
luna mer
luna mer
Scream it.
I AM BEAUTIFUL!
again.....
I AM BEAUTIFUL!
and mean it.
I am.
in my sleep deprivation, with my back flush to the wall, with my new puppy pee all over my cozy comforter, with my dirty clothes and my fresh washed clothes strewn all over my room, with the dishes in the sink, with my4 months of unbalanced bank statements, with my creative projects begging at the door, with my mudsplashed legs mucking stalls, with the fear that rises like the sun, with the intermittent sparkles of bliss, with my hibernatory hiding and my inexplicable extroversion....
I AM BEAUTIFUL!
even though, and because I'm blogging the muse when I should be working and my muscles are tight and I feel like I'm 90 until I start to dance and then I feel like I'm a bird or a fish or a hot bowl of noodle soup....I am beautiful.
even though and because I took a brassy leap and fell flat faced into a dustcracked canyon of egosmackdown and took a bruisin' to this wild ol' heart o mine.... I am beautiful.
even though and because alot of the most of the some of the time (all of it) I can't decide if I love this life or loathe it and I am some embodiement of taran-toola fragility(ouch, don't drop me I will break) and ferocity and strength (see how much more than my body weight I can carry, climb in these shoes, baby)...I am beautiful.
even though and because I keep getting smacked in the head by all those curve balls, dang I keep stepping up to bat and hell if I know why, most of the time I'm smiling, if not laughing my way to the plate.....I am beautiful
I'm hopeless, lonely, sad, angry, afraid, stuck, frustrated, clueless, naive, fortressed, guarded, cautious, wounded, paradoxical, spinning my wheels, going nowhere, back at square one, in the middle of nowhere, invisible and obsolete and ......HELL YEAH! I AM BEAUTIFUL!!
I'm full of hope, autonomous,whole, liberated, joyful, wild, precious, fearless, moving, doing it, flowing, trusting, allowing, surrendering, thanking, risking it, brave, courageous, bold, sassy, brassy, me me me me me me me!, dancing, singing, painting, writing, riding, swimming, stepping up, stepping in, saying yes yes yes, riding the waves like a seaborne animal, authentic, raw, vulnerable and real and .....HELL YES! I AM BEAUTIFUL!!
I AM BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**I was driving into town this morning. Every morning for the past, oh I don't know, maybe 5 days or so, there are some awesome sunshadowed figures standing on the highway overpass with handmade banners that send some message for the day. Like highway fortune cookies, I think. I love these people and their soulfullness. I imagine they share dinners and gather in someone's house and brainstorm the epiphany for the next day, then pull out their tempera paints and laugh hard about something that happened that day, while they scroll out the 11th or 12th commandment. Today, I waved and screamed back at them. Well, they suggested that I do it. So, I did. It made my day.
"SCREAM: I AM BEAUTIFUL!!"
Little things make the difference.
I AM BEAUTIFUL!
again.....
I AM BEAUTIFUL!
and mean it.
I am.
in my sleep deprivation, with my back flush to the wall, with my new puppy pee all over my cozy comforter, with my dirty clothes and my fresh washed clothes strewn all over my room, with the dishes in the sink, with my4 months of unbalanced bank statements, with my creative projects begging at the door, with my mudsplashed legs mucking stalls, with the fear that rises like the sun, with the intermittent sparkles of bliss, with my hibernatory hiding and my inexplicable extroversion....
I AM BEAUTIFUL!
even though, and because I'm blogging the muse when I should be working and my muscles are tight and I feel like I'm 90 until I start to dance and then I feel like I'm a bird or a fish or a hot bowl of noodle soup....I am beautiful.
even though and because I took a brassy leap and fell flat faced into a dustcracked canyon of egosmackdown and took a bruisin' to this wild ol' heart o mine.... I am beautiful.
even though and because alot of the most of the some of the time (all of it) I can't decide if I love this life or loathe it and I am some embodiement of taran-toola fragility(ouch, don't drop me I will break) and ferocity and strength (see how much more than my body weight I can carry, climb in these shoes, baby)...I am beautiful.
even though and because I keep getting smacked in the head by all those curve balls, dang I keep stepping up to bat and hell if I know why, most of the time I'm smiling, if not laughing my way to the plate.....I am beautiful
I'm hopeless, lonely, sad, angry, afraid, stuck, frustrated, clueless, naive, fortressed, guarded, cautious, wounded, paradoxical, spinning my wheels, going nowhere, back at square one, in the middle of nowhere, invisible and obsolete and ......HELL YEAH! I AM BEAUTIFUL!!
I'm full of hope, autonomous,whole, liberated, joyful, wild, precious, fearless, moving, doing it, flowing, trusting, allowing, surrendering, thanking, risking it, brave, courageous, bold, sassy, brassy, me me me me me me me!, dancing, singing, painting, writing, riding, swimming, stepping up, stepping in, saying yes yes yes, riding the waves like a seaborne animal, authentic, raw, vulnerable and real and .....HELL YES! I AM BEAUTIFUL!!
I AM BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**I was driving into town this morning. Every morning for the past, oh I don't know, maybe 5 days or so, there are some awesome sunshadowed figures standing on the highway overpass with handmade banners that send some message for the day. Like highway fortune cookies, I think. I love these people and their soulfullness. I imagine they share dinners and gather in someone's house and brainstorm the epiphany for the next day, then pull out their tempera paints and laugh hard about something that happened that day, while they scroll out the 11th or 12th commandment. Today, I waved and screamed back at them. Well, they suggested that I do it. So, I did. It made my day.
"SCREAM: I AM BEAUTIFUL!!"
Little things make the difference.
Access: Public
all of it
August 2008 